I'm Not Very Good at Prayer

     I don't consider myself very good at prayer. I don't have regular prayer times. I can't focus for very long when I'm praying. Some days I go the whole day without speaking to my Lord. Although I am weak, He is strong. He is patient with me. He forgives my weakness, and he has given me some amazing blessings through prayer.
     There have been times when He has answered a prayer directly. One morning, I was getting ready to take a cheer team to Nationals in Dallas, and I couldn't find the school credit card. I looked everywhere, but we had our last practice that morning, so I went to practice fussing at myself the whole way. On the way home I prayed, "Lord, I know you've got way more important things to do, but I really need that credit card. Could you please help me?" When I got home, the card was sitting on top of the papers I had put together for the trip. I thanked my husband for finding the card, but he didn't know what I was talking about. Lot's of people would find a way to explain this event that didn't include God, but I knew.
     There have been times when He has spoken to my heart directly through prayer. Once in at a retreat of about 100 women, I was telling Him that He really should not call on me to do much. I was so tired and told him that I really just didn't have the energy to be called. And he said, "Oh yes you will; I'm calling you first." Immediately after those words, the priest called my name first to come up to the altar to receive my certificate. Some would say that's a coincidence, but I knew.
     And there have been times when I haven't even noticed that he has answered my prayer. These are the times when I've been at my lowest. I've prayed for Him to guide me, to heal me, and to help me to forgive, but after each of these prayers, I hadn't felt any relief. It wasn't until much later, maybe a week, maybe a month, that I had felt a peace about those situations. I hadn't noticed it coming, but I know the peace came from Him. The peace and understanding hadn't come in the great revelation that I had been expecting; it had come without my doing anything at all. Slowly, surely, like a quilt wrapping me in its warmth and comfort. And I knew.